Waiting for you
by Ellachang
Summary: She waits for him. She is waiting for his return. To finally be by her side. But will that day really come?
1. Chapter 1

Looking at the Horizon she waits for something. And that something is really a someone. A man who doesn't know how to stop fighting for what he wants or what he believes it is right. Someone who thinks is the only one who can save his people. Their people. She knows that the waiting it's futile. The time is running out for him, for both of then. And this thought keeps repeating inside her head almost to the point of making her crazy.

She breathes in and out while rocking back and forth on the chair. And then she stops for a moment and the rocking and the breathing start again. This was her routine every day for the last seven months. She really didn't have anything else to do but sit here outside the house and wait. Wait for him to return by her side. But can she really expect that he would come back so quick just to be with her? Sometimes, in the most desperates days, she thinks yes. And a day like today the answer running throught her head is no. The day is almost over and he is not there. Neverthless she sits here on the porch of the Farmhouse. Hoping that one day he will come walzing from the horizon, almost running between the trees, just to her. And she will be the first one to see him.

Looking at her belly and resting a hand, she starts to rubbing it. W _hy can you come back to us..Eren_. _I know why you are not here right know.._ _but are you really coming back_ soon? She thinks with nostalgia. The thing is that she knows where he is. She knows the reasonof his absense. But she also knows that soon he would be able to be there. But the question remaing..will he come back right away to see her ? she doesn't know what could be his first action, his first move.

"Historia…."

She looks at the door where the voice comes from.

"Come inside. It's almost nightfall now and it's not good for you to stay here for to long. and neither for the baby "

"I know ..." she said in a distant voice refusing to looking at him. Is getting more difficult to see him in the eyes. Every time that she does it she feels the weight of the lie.It's not like he doesn't know it. He knows everything from the first day that she approached him and told him the plan. He had to pretend to be her baby's father so nobody else would suspect. So that no one could see how important the baby really is. _Thought..still is a lie_ she thinks.

" Are you going to come in?"

"Yes, I'm going in a moment ... I just need a few more minutes..."

He stares at her with a worried face. " Historia…."

"I said I needed a few more minutes ..." she looks at him directly for a second and avert her eyes to the wall close to him.

" It's okay". he sighs."I will wait for you inside. Anyway, the food will be ready soon ... you can stay here until everything is finished, "he said, returning to the house but leaving the door open.

She looks at the door for a second and then breathes again. She knows that was not the best way to answer. But she no longer knows how to act, how to be her. All these months have not been easy. Being on the farm, living with a person who she practically hired for this kind of job. Everything would be easier if she could scream of the top of her lungs who the father of her child is, everything would be so much easier and at the same time more difficult. She really miss Eren. He was her greatest adviser and support in all the months prior to he pregnancy. Her defender. Her knight in shining armor. The one who always thinks about saving her and the first one to oppose when there was something that could harm her.

She flips one more look to the horizon with a sigh. The background remains unchanged. Feeling that it is time to enter, she began to stand up with a little of difficulty from the chair and go towards the door. _There goes another day_ , she thinks while she goes inside the house. Maybe tomorrow will be another kind of day. _Just maybe_ she hopes.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : I would like to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one!**

The sun was beginning to come out. The first rays pierced through the window that was right next to her bed. She looks the sun rays a little in trance. She was already awake. Yesterday was another sleepless night. Although the sleep came early, after a while it completely disappeared. She wanted to believed that the pregnancy was at fault, but that is lying to herself. There are so many things running in her head that make her unable to reconcile a little of tranquility. Her pregnancy, her Land, her People, those that are always around her, and those that cannot be near her. There are some many things right at this moment, that she cannot do anything about it. She really has no control.

Suddenly she jumps a little bit, but right away she has calmed again. She looks at her belly and began to rub it.

"This morning you're wide awake don't you?" She says looking tenderly at her belly.

Many could think that because of the circumstances in which the pregnancy occurred, and the reasons that caused it, she would be unable to show love or affection to her baby. But from the moment that she knew of her pregnancy, she swore to herself that her baby was not going to have the same childhood as she. Living with a mother who didn't care about you, didn't love you. A mother who looked at you and only saw a mistake. She does not want that for her baby. She wants to give him or her all the things that she didn't have. All the things That her parents were unable to give her.

"I will always be by your side.." She reminded her baby again while still rubbing her belly. Thinking of her childhood, lead to also thinking of that other thing she wants her baby to have. Something that was also laking in her childhood. A father. That is the hardest thing for her to give to her baby at the moment.

 _Maybe not now, maybe later can be possible._ She tries to be positive with herself one more. With that thought in mind, she takes the decision to start the day. slowly she began to get up, she notices that every day was a little more difficult. The doctors said that with time, her pregnancy would cause some hardships. That she has to take extra care. That is why from some time now they did not let her do much effort for the baby's safety. Before she was able to do some tasks around the house or on the farm but now she was limited to walk a bit and rest on the porch. She sighed as the thought came to her mind. Sitting there all day means waiting, waiting at something that she was not certain it will come today.

 _It will come, Historia. He will come._ She tried again to stay positive. Shaking her head, she tries to scare all the negative thoughts. _If you are not the one hoping, and the one with the faith who else is going to have it? Eren? He has other worries surely. But on the other hand, Maybe the short time we spent together ... trying to have the baby ... did not mean as much to him as it is for me..._ she ponders while she finishes changing. She goes to the mirror in her room and stares at her for one moment.

 _You have to stay positive Historia, you cannot be discouraged. Especially not by yourself_. With determination, she looks at herself one last time before leaving the room.

Approaching the kitchen, she could smell immediately the breakfast, at that moment the baby kicks again.

"yes, we are going to eat," She smiles at her belly.

"You said something historia?" he turns and looks at her expecting. He is finishing preparing the breakfast.

"Nothing...good Morning" a little distracted she takes a place in the table.

" Good morning, how did you wake up today? How is the baby?" ignoring her tone, he sets the breakfasts at the table.

"The baby is fine," she really not want to continue talking. She does not feel like it. She waits for him to sit, to start eating. She feels his eyes resting for a moment in her before he also starts eating. They continue to do it in silence until both of them are finished.

"I'm going outside," leaving the plate on the table, she stands and moves towards the door. He didn't respond, it was not like she expects or wait for one. The moment she opens the door and she is able to see the landscape beyond the house, she feels a calmness taking her body. The house represents a jail for her. A Cage from which she cannot flee. Feeling a little more relaxed and calm, she sits on the only chair in the porch. Her chair. Already seated she gazes again on the trees beyond the limits of the farm. The sun is really giving its best today, with all the sunshine that she gets at the moment.

 _Maybe today it is a little different than the other days._ Rocking again and again in the chair, she starts to close her eyes and let her thoughts to fly freely in her head.

 _She had been outside his door for more than ten minutes now. All the way to here she tried to convince herself that it was a good plan, that she can pull this off. That they could pull this off. But now she cannot even knock his door. She told herself, that if she ordered him from her position as queen, he would fulfill the order like the good little soldier that he was. But she really did not want to go down that road. She really needs that he takes her offer, not because she is the queen, but because she is she. She is not blind. Or at least she thinks she is not. She has noticed how sometimes he stares at her for a few moments, a little like in trance, to pose his eyes in something else immediately. The way in which he interposes her security over many other things, its something that she also cannot forget. He is the first one to think of her, the first one to be there and defend her. How could they possibly think she would choose anyone other than him?. How nobody sees that she is also always looking after him, in her own way._

 _Taking a huge breath, she raises her right hand and knocks the door twice. Some noises can be heard coming through it, and in seconds the door opens, with Eren behind of it._

 _"Historia ... what...what are you doing here? Somethings wrong? " he says unable to disguise the surprise in his voice._

 _"Do you think ... I can come inside? I need to talk something with you "looking at the halls she adds " I really don't want that anyone hears what I want to say to you,"_

 _Eren rubs his forehead, a little confused, but still nods while opening the door a little wider so she can pass. Taking it as a good sign, historia gives one last look to the corridor and enters. She thinks is her first time in his room. They really weren't that close, when she was a soldier. There was never the necessity to visit him or go to his room for any reason whatsoever. Years later she is standing here, trying to come up with the craziest proposition she has ever made to someone._

 _"What is so important that you have to come here to discuss it with me?," Eren says behind her closing the door._

 _She enters a little more in the room, waits a few more seconds looking at it, taking a last-minute courage and turns to acknowledge him. Eren is really beautiful. She noticed it from the first moment she saw him. From the first moment, she saw his eyes. She never questioned the fact that he was attractive, but she also didn't think much about it. Her focus was to be Krista, and Krista didn't have time in dwelling her likes in men. But now. Now was different._

 _"I have decided ... I have decided that I will continue with the final part of the process...I want to get pregnant "_

" _Historia. ," he is looking at her sadly, she can see that he was going to start again making excuses. That this was not the road that he wants for her. That there must be another way to resolve things._

" _Eren..i know what are you going to tell me. I know all of it. After battling with myself and trying to find another way out, I came to the conclusion that this is the only way that there is... I want to get pregnant, I want to restore our land, and I want that…. I want your help in doing it" determinate she starts to get closer to him, starling him a little bit._

" _if you are not going to hear me out, I don't know how much help can I be in this situation," impotent and angry he looks at the floor._

" _But you can..i already told you once, that I didn't want anyone to dictate anything in my life. That I want to take control of my decisions. That I want to be stronger for me. Although I am to be pregnant for the sake of my people, I want to be able to choose the father of my child"_

 _He looks at her quickly "I still fail to see why do you want my help in this. I am really not OK with this decision Historia. But you are the queen. It is not like you need my approval or something like that,"_

" _But Eren..," She starts to come near him "I need your approval in this. How can I get pregnant, when the father of my future child is not OK with it,"_

 _She never before saw Erens Eyes go so wide like at this moment._

" _Historia….what are...what are you trying to say," he looks at her incredulously._

 _She takes one final step, both of them are so close now, almost nose to nose but not quiet._

" _What I am trying to say, is really that..that I want you to be the father of my child.,"_

 _He still looks at her with his eyes wide open, full of surprise, unable to say anything. Taking advance of his momentary lapse, she takes one final step in his direction and closes the small gap between them. Pressing her lips in his. Initiating their first kiss._

Opening her eyes she starts to notice that the sun is starting to set again. Her memories taking her far away for here, taking all the time of the day.

"Historia. Come inside. The food is ready," He is the one that this time doesn't wait for an answer, and goes inside almost immediately. He did not wait for an answer like she didn't wait for an answer this morning.

As she starts to get up, she throws one last look at the trees beyond the farm. Today was really not so different from yesterday or any other day. But she stills hopes that tomorrow would bring her something new.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N : Heres a new Chapter. Enjoy!**_

 _The amount of hay that needs to be stack is unbelievable. Because Nobody didn't do it in a while, it accumulates so much, that the task would take her all afternoon in finished it. She knows that piling hay may not be something that people would like to do willingly. When she was little she hates it too, she wouldn't do it freely, but nevertheless, she is here, running from all her duties and responsibilities. In other words, the Orphanage is right now her refuge. She hadn't particularly planned coming today, but she really wants to be alone and in some way undisturbed, after this week she feels that her strength is slowly fading away._

 _This morning started just as stressful; she got up pretty early to have a very long and more than tenuous meeting with the military, trying to find solutions and strategies, that in the end it just became a huge odyssey. When the meeting was over, and no agreement was reached, the first step she took outside that meeting room lead her automatically to the orphanage. She needed to get away. She craved an escape. When she arrived there, the first thing she did was to ask what has to be done, what sort of task must be complete. She wanted a distraction. As she was informed that there was some hay in the barn which needs to be stock, she didn't hesitate one second and went straight to do it._

 _Now, she was here in the barn trying to avoid the world, which till this moment was really working. She doesn't know exactly how much time has past since she arrived, but she can tell it was a while ago. Although she doesn't feel tired, her arms seem a little sore from all the piling that she is doing. She must make a pause. Turning her head to the side, she sees a chair near the entry of the barn and decides that is better to rest there just for a few minutes._

 _When she sits, she looks at the door to glance outside. It was such a sunny day, with a sky so bright, exploding with all sort of shapes of clouds, it was entrancing. At that moment her mind was just as clear as the sky and her soul just as calm as the wind. Looking at this scenery make her feel the most peaceful in all the week. Closing her eyes, she tries to maintain this peace in herself._

 _But her mind clouded again when she thought in something that bothered her this morning. She saw Eren today. He was at the meeting. It was the first time she saw him since the day of her proposal, almost one week ago. She was expecting to see him there, she was prepared. That is the reason why she was so calm sitting in the same room as he, successfully avoiding his piercing gaze, which she felt on her almost all the time. She noticed that he tried many times to catch her gaze with his, but she never looked in his direction. She acted like he wasn't there at all, and to be fair with herself, he was really the reason why she bolted so quickly from the meeting room._

 _She was not talking to him, she does not want to. She knows it's a little childish on her part, but what expect he from her? What did he think she was going to do? Act as if nothing had happened? Pretend that everything was fine and ignore the fact that he rejected her?. Every time she thinks about it, she gets angry, not so much with him but with herself. She knew that there was a possibility that he would not accept the proposal. That he would not accept her. But she had persuaded herself that the signs were there. That she had read him well. That if she didn't take the risk and try it, she would not lose anything. But now, she feels somehow like she has lost everything. The look on Eren faces after he pushed her away from him its imprinted in her head. No one had never made her feel so out of place than Eren at that moment. He didn't speak. Not a single word was said, he just stood there, looking at her as if seeing her suddenly with two heads or like seeing two huge titans kissing each other. Taking his silence as a signal, she ran out of his room, without stopping a single minute, and not caring of who saw her. She felt so stupid. She still feels so stupid._

 _Trying to keep her mind clear again, and avoiding the same destructing thoughts that plague her since that day, she decided to stand up from the chair and continuing with the work in the barn. She was far from finished. She hopes to forget everything again for the rest of the afternoon._

 _After a couple of minutes after that, her wish was not granted._

 _She felt someone was behind her at the barn door. As she Turns, she hat to suddenly shallow a small scream of despair. Right there stood the last person she wants to see in the day, the last person she wants to see at all._

 _When he notices that she was aware of his presence, he seems to wait a couple more seconds, and then start walking inside the barn, slowly and cautiously to her._

 _"Historia .." sounding wary he stops just a pair centimeter from her." I was...I need to talk to you. I was going to do it after the meeting, but you practically run out of the room, it took me a good time to locate you, "_

 _She was still in shock._

" _Historia..are you really not going to talk to me?" He tried again._

 _Finding her voice, she took a more defensive posture. "Why are you looking for me Eren? I really don't have time right now. I'm very busy. Go and leave me alone," Sending him a dismissive look, she turned around to continue working, silently praying that he would leave her alone._

 _"I am not leaving. You and I have a lot to talk about. You need to listen to me, you have to let me expl- "_

 _"You do not have to explain anything!" she suddenly shouts. If he is not going to leave, she will do it then. Dropping the pitchfork she had, she tries to dodge Eren and leave the barn, but she felt his hand on her wrist, restraining her from taking one more step._

 _"Eren ... what are you doing! I have nothing to talk about. Let me go" she forces her hand away from Erens without success._

 _"NO!" he growled._

 _She stop her actions. At that moment she was paralyzed, not only by his hand but also from tall emotions that were showing in his eyes. Sensing that she was not going anywhere, he started talking again with a more quieted voice._

 _"I know why you don't want to talk to me, why you want to stay away from me. My reaction that day.. was not the best, I know that. After you ran out of my room I thought everything had been a dream, for a moment I really believed it. When I realized that the door was open, it was as if someone had hit me. You were really there ... asking me to be the father of your baby." he looks at her apologetic. " I just want to tell you I am sorry..for freaking out like that. I could have handled it better "_

 _He was sorry, she could tell, but she is not so sure if that its enough at this moment for her. Taking a deep breath to calm down, she decided that it was better to continue the conversation and hope that this topic would never be discussed later on. It is better to have a sort of closure and move on._

 _"I know my proposal was sudden, but you did not have to push me that way. Do you really know how you made me feel?"_

 _Taking his hand from her wrist, he passes his hand through his hair looking a little frustrated._

 _"I know ... but let me ask you something. How did you expect me to react? What did you think I was going to say? "_

 _Diverting her gaze from his face to the floor, she realized that she really never thought how Eren could react. She had somehow taken for granted that Eren was going to accept her with open arms. That he would agree to be the baby's father. But no. Once again, Eren Jaeger demonstrated that sometimes he can be totally unpredictable. Feeling this time his hands on her shoulders, she was forced to look him directly once again, and confront those eyes._

 _"Tell me historia. How did you want me to react " solemn he tries again to obtain an answer from her._

 _"I expected you to say yes" she accepts finally, feeling defeated and with a huge desire to cry._

 _"Historia.."_

 _"But that doesn't really matters anymore. We must continue as if nothing had happened. As if I had never told you the things I told you! "_

 _"Do you think that is the solution? Continue as if nothing had happened? Do you want me to begin to ignore you the same way you did it with me today? Would you like me to do that?" his grip in her shoulders increase just a little._

 _"Eren... "Hesitating for a few seconds, she contemplates in telling him the reason why she was ignoring him. Between the two of them were no secrets, they always speak with complety honesty to each other. Now is not different from before. She still can count in telling him everything. She then decides that is better to come clean._

 _"I'm hurt. The fact that you did not accept the proposal ... the fact that you would not accept me in any way ... It hurts ... " the strangled voice was impossible to restrain, the tears were already running freely down her face._

 _She felt Eren's hands move from her shoulders to settle on her cheeks, wiping the wetness of her face. The tenderness left her speechless._

 _"What makes you think I rejected you? you left before I get a chance to speak. If you had stayed, you would have known my answer. You would have known that... that I want you"_

 _Her eyes were now double in size. The tears stopped almost immediately. She cannot believe her ears. She cannot believe what he just said._

" _w-hat a-re you saying" she stumbles in words to say._

" _I am saying that I want to be the father of your baby. I am saying that I am accepting your proposal"_

 _There are so many emotions running in her body, in her heart. He was saying yes, and she cannot believe it. He was saying yes, and she could not utter a word._

 _Acting for the two of them, and sensing that maybe acts are stronger than words, Eren closes the remaining gap between them, and kiss her._

 _It was just a little pressure of his lips on her, but she felt so much in just that contact. Getting out of her daze, she reacts quickly and returns his kiss while putting more pressure in his mouth, and eren taking it as a signal, move his hands from her cheeks to her waist, pressing her more to him, letting no room for a gap between them. From then on the kiss was just an explosion of passion. There was so much feeling, so much touch._

She was so nostalgic these last couples of days. she doesn't do anything besides reflecting about how everything started. The isolation is getting to her. She knows she is not alone in this house, but the feeling never goes away. Her memories and her thoughts are what entertain her most of the time. She looks outside the window in her room, lost in thought.

Today was a gray kind of day, and from the moment she waked up, she knew that she wasn't going to be able to sit in the porch. If she were to dare going outside, she could catch something and that could be dangerous for the baby.

She steps out from the window, and sits on the bed, resting her back in the wall. She closes her eyes, and start rubbing her belly. The movement always south her and the baby. She starts to hum a little. The sound of the rain outside numb her a little bit.

Abruptly she opens her eyes and screams. The pain is so extreme, the only thing that she can do is scream. Her belly hurt, the baby hurt. Clutching her belly so hard, she tries to get up gripping the table near the bed and look for help. But everything was dazed, she was not seeing clearly. The last thing she remembers is starting to lose the grasping to reality and falling, quickly everything was pitch black.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N : Heres a new Chapter. Enjoy!**_

 _She felt someone was watching her. The feeling of someone eyes on her was the thing that woke her up._

 _When she opened her eyes she notices the room was still pitch black. And then she noticed him. He was sitting on the bed. She frowned. It looked as if he had been finishing changing and decided to sit in bed again. He only had on his pants, but the shirt was near him on the bed. Normally, Eren always leaves early before anyone can go looking for her._

 _Since they started this thing they have, they try to see each other whenever they can. Most of the time it is in her room very late at night, other times it has been sporadically when they know that they will be somewhere together, and very few were in his room._

 _What they have does not have any kind of label either. She really enjoys Eren's company, more than she already enjoyed it before. The degree of trust that she has towards him has increased in such a way that Eren already notices when she is of a certain type of humor or when she is worried. When she is stressed he is always there to cheer her up. When she feels indecisive, he is there to help her come to his senses. And when she sometimes feels lonely, he is the best company._

 _The first time they were together was almost one week after the orphanage confession. She arrived late one night to her room, he was already waiting for her. They start talking, then kissing and from then on things escalated very quickly into the night. They both knew what they had to do, what they want to do, and despite the ignorance that they have, the encounter was something she had never experience before. She felt somehow awake, and she knows that Eren felt the same way too._

 _After that first time, all the times that have followed it has been a continuous learning for both. She has discovered what he likes, what makes him sweat, what makes him feel. He also learned how to make her forget about everyone and everything, and just focus on him. Only him._

 _You could say that their encounters are merely sexual, but it's a lie. Because there are always silences and hours that are filled by only conversations between them. Everything that worries them, everything they want, their dreams, their fears, everything is uncovered for the other person to see it._

 _Last night was not an exception. When she arrived at the room, Eren was already waiting for her. Although she felt that this time he was more aggressive, more accelerated than normal, it did not seem at all too strange. There was not much conversation. All the silences were filled by the moans and whispered words between them. It seemed as though both could not be satisfied, and they were looking for that which would fill them. That thing that would keep them calm and put an end to their despair. She was so tired that she fell asleep as soon as they finished doing it for the last time that night._

 _Now Eren wakes her up in another way. Looking at her as if she were leaving at any moment as if he were capturing that moment of her in the bed next to him._

 _Something inside her made her chill. In some way, she has a bad feeling_

 _"Eren..are you going now?"_

 _He kept looking at her in such a particular way. She sits on the bed to be more to his level. Noticing the movement she made, Eren shook his head and stared at his hands that until now she noticed they were clutched in the sheet of the bed. She worries immediately. This does not seem normal at all. She opens her mouth to tried again to question him, but he does it first._

 _"Historia..I..last night .." Frustrated he runs his hand over his face, then on his hair, ruffling it very hard._

 _She scoops a little more to him, but then decided it was better to be face to face with him. She sits now in front of him, her legs tucked under her._

 _"What happen? You know you're worrying me a little bit "she tried to sound a little playful, trying to encourage him._

 _Eren raises his head and looks directly into her eyes. As if taking strength, he breathes deeply._

 _" I have to tell you something. That was my intention yesterday when I came here. But I don't know how to even begin"._

 _She understands him. She also has something to tell him. Something she already knows for a few days now, but she had lack the guts to tell him till now. The fear always seizes her first. But she knows that she should not be afraid. Eren will always be with her during this new path that she takes. She has no idea what could be so important that he have a hard time telling her, but maybe if she tells him her news first, that would encourage him, and he would tell her was on his mind._

 _Smiling, she takes Eren's hands between hers, surprising him immediately, she knows that the expression she has is one of almost love. since she herself learned of her condition days ago, the attraction she felt towards him has changed into something that she was a little scared of saying it at loud or even saying her to herself._

 _"I have something to tell you too. And neither had I the opportunity to do it "shyly she looks away from his face and locked her gazed in their hands together._

 _"I-m pregnant" she ends whispering. She does not trust herself to see Eren's expression._

 _With a silence that expands a couple of seconds, then for a couple of minutes, she feels Eren release his hands from between hers, and he brings them to both sides of her face, making her look at him. She felt her heart racing._

 _When she finally looks at his face, the first thing she notices is the smile he has. Eren just looks at her smiling, his eyes shining in a way that she believes she has never seen before. She can not help but smile back at him, and while she does so, a sense of calm and relief overflows within her. Eren is as happy as she is._

 _He drags her face towards him, while at the same time he also brings her closer, and they both end up kissing in a slow and passionate way. He ends up staying a little more, and she makes sure that no ones come looking at her for the rest of the morning._

 _He never told her what he was trying to say to her. But a couple of days later, instead of Eren in her room, she finds a letter from him. Explaining the reasons why he wasn't there. Explaining that he almost left everything for her, for their baby, but in the end, he decided what is best for their people, what he believes is ultimately better for her too. Telling her that they must continue with the plan they had talked about a long time ago, in the event that she was pregnant. Assuring her that he may not be able to be there now, but that in some way he is protecting them. her and the baby._

 _Never in her life did she cry as much as she cried that night. She thought that the feelings of loneliness were gone, but she was so wrong. She had never been so aware of her feelings for Eren until the moment he left. She loved him, and she couldn't tell him because he was not there. She loved him and she was alone._

The first thing she recalls when she woke up, is that she was thirsty. It was a little unnatural because it felt like she spent some time without water.

She opens her eyes and she feels totally misplaced. It takes a while to recognize that she was in her room, lying on the bed. After a couple of seconds, she reaches to her belly and touches it, making sure that the baby feels fine. She leaves her hand there waiting for a kind of signal, and then she has it. Her baby is kicking. She smiles. Feeling that everything is fine, she looks up at the window, it looks like is early in the morning.

She doesn't remembers falling sleep, but it seems that she went to bed pretty early. Her mind is still a bit cloudy. She stays in that position, trying to take a little more energy and be able to get out of bed.

At that moment the door opens, revealing him.

He stays at the door. She frowned. He looked like he is shocked to see her there. But it's her room, what could possible be out of the ordinary?

"You didn't knock." Her voice feels a little hoarse as if she had not spoken for a while.

Waking from his shock, he approaches her, sitting in a chair next to the bed, that she had not seen until now.

"His-toria ... how long have you been up?"

"Not much I think. A few minutes ago. But I'm a little confused. What are you doing in my room?". She tried to sit up now, but her strength was failing.

"Do not strain yourself." Despite his reproachful tone, he helps her to sit down. When he sees that she is comfortable, he sits back in the chair. Normally she would not accept much help, but she feels very weak.

"I do not feel very well. I feel so tired"

"Do you remember that you fainted?"

That surprised her. In her head there is no memory of fainting, she may have felt a little ill, but she does not remember much beyond that.

Notice her lack of response, he decided to further informed her.

"You fainted. That was one day ago. I found you lying in the room when I went to tell you that the food was ready". When he saw that her face was starting to turn to worry, he added quickly" I went to find the doctor right away, the first thing he did was verify that the baby was okay, and said that most likely You've had a lot of stress and that's why you could have fainted. The fact that you are not eating all the meals also leads to a little trouble. Remember that you have a baby to think about. If you hadn't wake up today, we would have taken you to the city. Your condition is not the best Historia."

"I-I do not know ... and-or I do not remember"

"It's totally normal. The doctor said that when you woke up, I would let him know immediately and he would come to see you right away. I'm going to leave you some food and I'll go to get him "

With that, he starts to stand up from the chair to go to the kitchen.

"Wait!" she calls, stopping his departure.

Turning towards her, he looks at her expectantly.

"All the time that I've been unconscious. Has something happened? "

Waiting for more information, he keeps watching her.

She tries to organize her thoughts. From the moment he said that she had been unconscious for so long, she could not help feeling that something important could have happened in that time.

"Someone came looking for me? There are news of the city? "

He remains silent, but she soon notices that his silence is more of indecision than of not wanting to answer. At that moment she knew that something really did happened.

"Tell me, please! Even though I'm here, I'm still the queen. Somehow you are in your duty to tell me what is happening! "

"Something happened, but i don't know if in your condition is OK for you to know." a little redundantly he tries to persuade her.

"Tell me!" Agitated she tried again, trying at the same time not to get excited. But it is practically impossible. Something happened, something he does not want to tell her, an in the deepest of her heart she knows is something important for her.

Diverting his gaze from her, and resting his focus on anything else in the room, he takes a sigh before answering.

"When the doctor came, he brought news. I can not tell you completely what happened, because I do not have much information either, but I know that there was some explosion at the military and someone escaped from jail"

An explosion in the military? jail? why didn't anyone tell her this thing?

"was everyone alright? Who escaped? ".

At that moment he decides to stare at her again.

"Everyone was OK, but I think there was a fatality. And the one who escaped..well, they say it was Eren Yeager"

At that moment her heart can not explode because it could not. Her betting was so loud inside her, that she thought he could also hear it.

Eren had been in jail and she didn't know. Eren escaped and she has no idea what he is up to. But the most important thing is that at that moment her heartbeat is quickened because she finally received some news about him. Because at last her wait may end sooner than she thought.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note:**

First of all, I want to say sorry for delating so much this chapter. There were so many things going on with me, that I really couldn't find the time to write. But here it is! The final chapter! I just want to tell thanks to everyone that read and like my story. That was my first Fanfiction and I know that I need to improve so much. I know some of you want to see other points of view here but my main intention was always to represent Historia and what was happening to her. In a way, I just want to create something were only Eren and Historia was present. Maybe I will try in the future to write more stories like this and continue to contribute to the amazing ship that is Eren and Historia. So thanks, everyone!

 **CHAPTER 5**

Several days have passed and nothing.

No sign of Eren. From the second she learned that Eren had returned and that he was somehow in jail and escaped, she had hoped that he would come for her. She had hoped that the first thing he would do was come to see her and their baby. But no. There is no sign of him. No message. No nothing.

She thought she was important to him, the time they spend together proved that they have become more, that their relationship was of more significance. And she is feeling a little wound that he is showing that this change, that he changed, and that the past may have no meaning anymore.

But that's the part of hers that care for him, the part that really worries, the part that is hurt. There is also another piece in her that is distress but not because of him or them, but because of what he is causing. This part had no idea how to respond, how to behave in the case she see him, in the case they reunited.

Looking out the window she still gazes outside.

From the moment he left, and she was put into this house, her only entertainment and hope have been waiting for him. But now ... now it feels different. She thinks she does not know him anymore. She does not feel so sure about him. She no longer wants to sit on the porch of the house, she no longer wants to feel exposed, vulnerable, or open to forgiveness. Who would have thought that a time would come when she was going to hesitate about how to really react if she saw him again?

For a moment she stops looking at the trees and puts her gaze on the porch chair. There was never a time that the chair was empty in the day, with the exception or the rare times she was sick, and seeing it empty was not resting well in her. She needs a break right now. She has to stay without any sudden movement or any stress. But how is it possible that she can simply stay in bed all the time? in view of everything that is happening. In view of the fact that her world is changing so quickly.

Closing her eyes and counting to ten, Historia moves away from the window and prepares to go up to the room. It is getting harder and harder to leave the window. She may not want to be on the porch but she still does not stop waiting. it pained her to admit it but whatever the situation with Eren is now, her whole body is still begging loudly to see him.

Arriving at her room, she immediately goes and sits in the rocking chair that is there; reclining her head on the head of the chair, and stretching her feet a little, she feels that the tiredness is winning and she does not fight it for a single minute.

"Historia."

... ..

"Historia ... Wake up"

Opening her eyes, and trying to focus on the voice, she sees a face at the height of hers. And she realizes that he has already returned from the city.

Seeing that she was starting to awake, he moves away from a little in order to give her a little more space.

"You woke up. I've called you several times "

"I'm sorry," she says and straight her position in the chair. " Have you got any news?" she asks expectedly.

He puts his hands in her pockets and just shakes with his head a no.

She feels again without hope. How it is possible that they don't get any news from anyone. How it is possible that she is still in the dark.

" You know that I am not in the military. I can not find information that easy. Why don't you ask them? just write them another letter"

"I already send them millions of letters and nothing! I am the queen but it is as if they would like to maintain me in the dark on purpose." she could not help but be exalted, she knows that he is not to blame, but at this moment, she is beyond care.

"Historia ... you know that you have no other option than to stay here. You are doing this for your baby!"

"And don't you think I know that? Everything I do is for the baby! From the moment I enter this house that's the only thing that for me is crystal clear. But I can not stay still with everything that is happening around me" Stopping for a few seconds she tries to take breaths and calm down a little bit. " it is impossible not to feel lost and somehow impotent "

"What do you think I've felt all this time?

"What?" she doesn't know what he is talking about.

"You just think you're the only one who has sacrificed things to be here? I have also sacrificed my freedom to accompany you"

"You knew what this what from the moment I tell you about the deal!"

"Yes, I did. But I also thought that somehow ... I feel so stupid saying this ... but I thought that somehow there could be more."

More? More of what?

"More of us, historia," he said as if reading her mind.

She could not believe what she was hearing. He had entered this agreement because he thought there could be something between them? but He never showed something different as indifference and cordial coldness towards hers.

"But ... but you knew that I was pregnant with someone else child ..how can you think that there could be love between us?".

"The deal was to pose as the father for the baby. And to be able to protect both of you. But I ... I thought your baby's father was not coming back. I never thought about who he was, or where he was. I always intuited that it was not in the picture and that you were alone and you needed help. That's why I decided to do it. But also a selfish part of me wanted to do it because ... I like your Historia. I like you for a long time. And in a way, this was my opportunity to be with you"

"B-but you were so cold towards me!"

"And how do you think you act with me in the first weeks we were in here together?"

Her behavior towards him? She was always polite to him..don't she?

" I treat you..."

"You treat me as I was just someone who was in this house and that was all. As if I was just someone removable. Yes, you treat me with politeness but in a way that was so much worse to me historia. "

And he is right. He is so right. She knows that she was always on the porch, and spent so little time with him. But she didn't have to spend time with him, he was only there..to be a company. She feels bad and she doesn't know what to say to him.

" And now..now I see you craving news about this guy. I'm not stupid. I know he is important to you. Is he the..father?"

She turns her eyes to the floor and didn't say yes. But she also didn't said no and she knows he understood her silence answer.

"well..I do know now that you only have a heart for the father of the baby.." he sounds so gentle when he said that.

She looks again to his face...What can she say when he had said it all for her.

"I think I need to go out again for a while. I will return soon" quickly he leaves the room.

She does not want to leave this situation like this, even though her relationship with him was a little complicated , she does not want the person who has been with her at all times these last months to feel that everything has been in vain.

Getting up from the chair as quickly as possible she hopes she can catch up to him. It is difficult for her to go down the stairs, and when she is reaching the end steps, she sees that he left the door of the house half open. Hastening her steps, she manages to open the door completely and just when she was going to shout his name to stop him, she froze.

Her throat cannot be drier as it was, her breath cannot be more caught, Her hands cannot squeeze the door of the house stronger, she knows its hurting, but she don't care right now; she feels like falling and she needs something to hold on to. And her eyes..her eyes cannot leave the person who stand not far from the porch of the house. A person who, despite the few changes, she knows exactly who he is, her whole body knows who he is.

It's Eren.

And he is outside the house, looking in a rather unpleasant way at the person who she was looking for.

He had not seen her right away, but when the other occupant of the house turned his face in her direction as sensing her, Eren did the same thing.

And at that moment, his gaze was center in her. Penetrating in a way she knows he is the only one that can do it.

The three of them stay like that for what feel hours to her. Eren looking at her and she looking only at him. The third of this equation was rather looking at the both of them. Waiting for someone to make the first move. But, feeling that neither she or Eren was to move, he decided to be the one to take initiative.

"You're sure you want to stay ... alone?" he Sighs in a very exaggerated way and directing his voice to Historia.

At first, it lasts a couple of seconds to react, but then she looks at him, and slowly she shakes her head yes, not trusting much to speak at this moment. It didn't occur to her that he was telling her he would stay when at first he was running from her.

Without having to ask him twice, he starts to get away from the couple. Historia sees how his silhouette becomes small in the distance, not trusting for a second to turn her gaze towards Eren. When she saw that he disappear from her view, she decides is time to enter the house again, deliberately leaving the door open. She walks slowly to the dining room and takes a seat in one of the chairs facing the front door.

Outside is not safe for them. If he wants to talk to her, the safest way is doing it inside the house and not here in the open, where anyone who is chasing him can find him easily.

When she is seated, she sees that Eren is already inside the house closing the door firmly behind him. Seeing her at the table and without hesitation, he goes to her and takes the seat in front of her. Both still in silence. Both still cautious.

She is so confused and her heart is racing so fast. After having imagined all the scenarios in which she would see him again, she always thought that the first thing she would do was run and embrace him with all her might. She thought that the emotion was going to be so big that she was going to be able to feel with her whole being. But now ... now she is petrified.

How can they continue as nothing happened? How can they be "they" again ?. It is still possible? Or was their relationship doomed the moment he went away? Maybe she is exaggerating but deep inside her she thinks that so much has changed. He has obviously changed..and her, well, she changed in this past days just a little bit. Trying to gather all her courage she decided to be the first to speak.

"Hi" she is playing safe just with sticking with a polite conversation.

"Hello"

More silence and he just kept looking at her, as if she was going to get away from his sight. She must be delusional..wasn't he the one that got away? The one who have other priorities like saving humanity? She once said she was the enemy of Humanity and right now she feels rage within her knowing that Eren will always think that he is the savior, the one to need to make thing right to the point that he must left her and their baby to go to where? to gain what? She needs answers.

"I heard you were back and that you went to..jail?"

"You heard right. I was in jail, but as you see I got out. But that is not important Historia. I want to kno-"

"I don't think you have the right to know anything".

That surprised him, she notices. The way he narrows his eyes a little to her told her that he was expecting something else and not this aptitude. What was he expecting really?.

"What do you mean by that? I have the right to know everything that concerns you. And the baby ..." he looks for the first time her bump. All the time she felt that his eyes were always in her and not in her belly, or even her body, but always in her face. She can help but to put an arm protectively around her abdomen and that makes him returned his gaze to her face again.

"Historia..why are you like this? I thought that with my letter you would understand why I have to go.."

"I read your letter and I thought that I understood you..but Eren, you are acting against our people, my people, or do you forget that I am the queen and that I also have responsibilities to them. That I need to protect them. And i-i right now there some part of me that feels that I need to protect them from..y-you"

He was silent and his eyes were starting to dark a little bit, but she needs to continue, she needs to be heard.

"What happened to me was you Eren. I was fine just waiting for you! I was fine with all that little information you left me, and I waited for so long that you were one day coming up to get us but then..then that incident happened and I don't think I know you anymore Eren.." she hadn't noticed that silence tears were running in her face, but she knows he did because he was starting to reach for the one hand she had in the table, but she retreats it the moment she noticed his action.

He looks at her astonished. She thinks her actions speak more of what their relation is come to be. She backing off of him and not accepting any form of connection, any form of touch.

"Are you.. afraid of me? Do you think I am some sort of..enemy? Your enemy?" he asks not believing what he was asking.

Her lungs were making her difficult to breathe. She wants to scream so badly because he was looking at her as if his heart was starting to break just like hers. She is unable to say something. She is unable to answer him.

"Historia..are you in no so many words telling me that you also dont..love me?" his voice was starting to lose that confidence that at first, she noticed it had.

When she still no gave any answer he becomes enraged and gets up the chair so fast to slam his fist in the table scaring her all the way. She was not scared before of him but now, now she starts to feel like she should be.

"I am still me ... how can you think that I am different than before! from all the people historia I thought you were the one that will always understand me. That would always be there for me!"

That did it for her.

She also gets up of her chair and put the hands on the table the same way that Eren had his. She was not letting him treat her that way or thinks those things from her.

"I never stop believing in you for one minute do you hear me! All the time in this house the only thing that keep me going was to think that you were out there making thing easier for us, to be happy in the future..but E-eren" she starts to speaking more calmer and more softer to him because she wants him to understand that she loves him although these days her mind was telling her that she should be more cautious with her feelings toward him. " Eren..i need you to tell me what really is going on. I need you to tell me in order to still be able to understand"

He looks at her for a minute before he looks down and starts to press his knuckles more harder to the surface of the table and her heart broke right there because she knows he was silently crying.

"E-re-"

"Do you think it was easier for me historia? that you were the only one suffering here? that you were the only one that was hoping to be with the one she loves? walking away from you was one of the hardest things i have to do in my life especially right after you told me you were expecting my child." he started to speak so softly with his head still down and avoiding looking at her "It was not easy at all. All the months that I spend away in that fucking land. Every waking moment I keep repeating myself that at the end all be worth it. That it was the right thing to do, not only for our people but also for us. For the three of us."

At this point, he decided to look at her face, and there she could see the tears flowing in his face.

"I did things that I am not proud of. I have killed more people and I have let so many others down. But I was counting with that because I know my actions will no pleased everyone at first..but you historia. You are the only fucking thing that I really was hoping to stay stable. Was the only thing I was counting to no change during my absence. But I was so wrong.." at that his voice was to starting to break evenly like he wants to cry again.

"Eren..you really thought that nothing will change? That I would just accept everything without questions, without some sort of doubt?"

He doesn't say anything just nodded with his head as if no trusting with speaking right now.

"I am not saying..that my feelings are change all together but I just really want answers. I need to know what really is going on"

"That is something that right now I cannot tell you. I still need to look for someone and then..then can I come for you and tell you everything"

"Then why are you here in the first place if your intention was to go again? why put me in the position to have you but then letting you go immediately? why don't just go to do the things you need to do and let me..let me be here. Alone. Without you. Because Eren i don't need this, I don't need this kind of situation right now. I am to give birth in any moment now and i cannot do this again"

His face turn harder again after hearing this.

" Speak clearly historia. Are you telling me that you are ending this? Do you want me to let you be alone? Or maybe do you want to be with this man that is living with you?"

"Don't start with that..you know very well of the deal. You and I agreed that long before you decide to leave me that I must find someone who would live with me in order to no attract suspicious towards you. We were ruthless and we were almost caught so many times. After you leave it was only logical that I must keep going with the plan. Maybe you weren't there but the suspicions do not leave with you" .

"Are you in a relationship with him?"

"No"

"Do you love me?"

"I love you..but you lea-"

"I did not leave you! How many times must I tell you that I maybe was no here physically but Historia..i was with you all the time! in my heart and in my mind you were always there! if you really need time, I would give you time historia, but I am not giving up on us, the same way that you clearly are starting to give up"

With that Eren start to put more distance between them, he looks at her just for a couple of minutes before he begins to speak again.

"I leave now historia. If that's really what you want... Everything I do, is for you, for the baby. And if you think that you need more time away from me, from us..then I will give it to you. I will leave you alone from now on."

She is stunned. is he really leaving again? Is he throwing everything away? she was processing all of this that she was not able to talk, and Eren must have taken her silence as consent for him leaving because he starts to walk to the door.

He was almost at the door when her brain starts to work again.

"WAIT"

He pauses but he doesn't turn to look at her, he just stay at the same position, steps away from the door, steps away to be far from her.

"What do you want from me? what else can you possibly want from me historia? I think both of us have said enough"

With that, he starts to open the door of the house.

Finding sufficient strength that she did not know she had, she ran as much as she can to where he was and putting her arms in his torso, she embraces him as strong as her belly allows her, trying to prevent him to go.

She felt him froze right there, with his hand in the doorknob.

Her action was impulsive but her body just refuses to let him go like that, after waiting so long for him.

"Don't go" she mumbles in his back.

"His-"

"DONT GO" she screams.

She cannot help it. Deep in her, she feels that she is contradicting herself because just moments ago she was telling him that she doesn't need all these bad things from him, but now..now she just want to try again. She wants to try again to talk, Tries again to find a solution for this.

"Don't go. Don't do it again. I know I do not understand half of what if happening, half of what goes through your head but you are here with me. You looked for me. You could take a thousand paths but you decided to look for me and that makes me so happy"

Before she was crying silently, but now she can not help sobbing loudly on his back.

"Eren. We must stop fighting. We have not done more than to discuss and throw us truths in the face that only make us suffer but I can not help but feel that If I let you go now, will regret it for a long time."

"Historia... "Eren says covering his hands over hers just right above his abdomen. "I don't want to leave. I now that you feel that you not understand me but give me the chance to try it. The chance to let you show my reasons. My plan"

Feeling so relieve historia just say the only thing left to say for her.

"Yes, Eren. I give you another chance"

At that, Eren turns around changing their positions in order to see her face but never breaking the hug that she gave him. Now face to face, he lifts one of his hands and with his sleeves, he begins to clean the tears that were falling from her eyes.

"There's nothing more I want right now than to stay with you and our baby. I swear I'll make you understand. I swear I will not let you down. You can count on me. Do you trust me?"

Looking at his eyes, Historia sees right there the love that he feels towards her. Feels like her world was again to taking form, that she was not alone anymore and that he was here with her.

Those green eyes always captivating in a way that she never was able to really describe, and right now, looking directly again to them, she feels like there she can never say no to them like she was forever entranced.

"I trust you"

Releasing his first smile at that, showing the Eren from before, the Eren that she was missing, confirms that in spite of everything she is always going to be there for him to try to understand him and try to support him.

Eren decides to close the distance between them and kiss her after so many months of waiting.

And in that embrace, they both know that things are not going to be easier for any of them. But right now they are a least together and together they can make face to whatever comes in their way.

 **The End.**


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